The Mouthpiece

The mouthpiece. We all know one. The advocate for anything and all things pertaining to their interest, wants, desires, and needs. Oh yeah... the needs of others may be included in their madness. Of course, their points are usually brought across in an obscenely obnoxious way that drives you nuts, wondering if it is the passion they possess in advocating their beliefs, or if it's the sheer delivery in which their "issues" are addressed. Well ladies and gents, I know a 5 year-old pint sized mouthpiece. Granted he may have gotten his needs to be a self-proclaimed advocate from...well...me. After all, I myself have been an intern in a Public relations department, where demonstrations and marches were a must prior to my pre-stay at home mom "career". Shouldn't I be proud? On the one hand I am proud of my little man's need to fight the good fight, and right what he deems to be wrong, BUT I wonder when will this kid take a break. Does everything HAVE to be a debate? His need to voice his opinion about every little thing is sometimes highly...I'll just describe the many expressions of little J.

The world in song. 

You ever had a person that walked around as if everything is a musical? That could be little J. at any given moment. Why? Because he lives his world according to song. Like any theatre geek, I love a good musical...on the big screen that is. But my little J., especially when riled up to make a good point, and fight a good fight, can find ANY opportunity to speak his mind in the form of a song. It starts when his feet began to tap as if getting a feel for the beat that seems to be manifesting in his head. And. Then. It. Happens. He begins to sing his point. And like any good musical, it wouldn't be any good without the proper dance. Or in his case, the proper hopping, and twirling to leg kicking ratio. Enter in my infamous -_-, as I simultaneously plead for the noise to end. I bet you are probably laughing at my despair while thinking, it's probably really cute. Did I mention that sometimes he tries to yodel? Uh huh. Nuff said.

The diplomat/negotiator/ lawyer.

This is little J.'s favorite practice, besides twirling like a ballerina. He pretends that the casa de mommy and Abba is a democracy, and not the dictatorship it truly is. It typically starts off with a, "well may be "we" should do this...." Instead of the aforementioned chore, homework, practice, or reading hour he's supposed to be engaged in. Or it could go like this, " I would much rather do _____, don't you think that's a good idea: Enter said parent here________. " Then you have this, " Well I think that I should be able to do what I want because I decided __________." An excellent manipulator that one. I'd never settle for less than a lawyer out of him with his skills. Even so, I have a rude awakening for him... "You do not become a sovereign state until you are out of my house taking care of yourself. Now how do you like those apples, son?"

The brat.

The brat is self explanatory. It is typically behavior that involves lots of tears, an attempt at guilt tripping said parent, and it looks like this: Cue sad instrumental and *obscene crying*, "You NEVER EVER let me do anything... I never get to have any fun... I NEVER EVER got that cereal bar before (although he had one five minutes prior)...Why can't I EVER have that toy (although it was possessed but a minute before)...But, why do I have to share it?" And, the academy award goes to...little J. for the best performance in brattiness.

And that is my little mouthpiece.